Enter Bill Anderson and Tom Peters; Vicoprofen PR Representatives
BILL: She's freezing cold already. No one is going to believe she hung herself.
TOM: What the hell do you suggest we do? The last thing we need is another death in the media. They've been dropping like flies lately, how do you suppose we explain this one? Genius.
BILL: Look at her eyes Bill! For Christ's sake man, she's turning purple.
TOM: Fine, then go grab the plastic out of the trunk, and make sure no one is around. Hurry up!
BILL: No way, I told you after the last girl I'm not doing that again!
TOM: You heard what Carlyle said; damage control. You're waisting time, just go get it.
Exit Bill
Monologue
TOM: What is it with young people popping these pills. They all wind up the same; dead or crackheads. Now I have to clean up your mess, and try my hardest to make sure no one finds you. You couldn't pay me to take this stuff anyway. Stupid girl.
Re-enter Bill
BILL: Here, but I'm not touching her.
TOM: Look, the faster we do this, the sooner it's over with. Lay it there. Now shut up; help me move her.
BILL: So, where we dumpin this one?
TOM: Same place we dumped the last one.
BILL: Hey look at this.
TOM: What?
BILL: She would have been 24 this July.
TOM: Too bad, she's pretty cute. What a waste.
Exit Tom & Bill with Daniella Mia.
The End
Recently, I have been on medication to treat my wisdom tooth. All four are impacted, and one in particular has been causing me pain. My doctor prescribed me Vicoprofen to treat the pain. It is a Hydrocodone and Ibuprofen mix. The following is information copied and pasted directly from the Vicoprofen site:
Ibuprofen can increase your risk of heart attack or stroke. Do not use Vicoprofen just before or after having heart bypass surgery (also called coronary artery bypass graft, or CABG). Seek emergency medical help if you have chest pain, weakness, shortness of breath, slurred speech, or problems with vision or balance.
Ibuprofen can also increase your risk of serious effects on the stomach or intestines. These conditions can be fatal and can occur without warning at any time while you are taking Vicoprofen. Call your doctor at once if you have black, bloody, or tarry stools, or if you cough up blood or vomit that looks like coffee grounds.
Hydrocodone may be habit-forming and should be used only by the person this medicine was prescribed for. Keep the medication in a secure place where others cannot get to it. Avoid drinking alcohol while taking Vicoprofen. Alcohol may increase your risk of stomach bleeding while taking ibuprofen. What is it about modern medicine that we trust in so much? When you think about it, the number of knowledgeable people in any given profession, who are really good at what they do, are few and far between. Mechanics, Teachers, Lawyers, usually it's very hard to find a good one, and you practically need to sell a kidney to afford them when you do.
I'm not knocking modern medicine entirely. I don't think voo doo, or animal sacrificing, or any other far out alternative is superior. However, just because someone is wearing a white coat, stinking of latex gloves, we assume they know what on earth they are talking about. Or that modern drugs, such as the narcotic, addictive Vicoprofen I was prescribed, is okay for us to depend on.
Take any of these pain killers, for example. Zanax, Vicoden, Oxycodone. Drugs that affect your hormones, brain chemicals, stomach and intestines, create addictions, suppress you appetite, not to mention completely impair your coherence. Then you have marijuana, marijuana with NO medical illness, ailment, or addiction directly related with it in the history of medicine, and it's illegal?
Hack through another limb of the medical industry; obesity. Like 99% of the country is fatter than fat, suffering from heart problems, diabetes, and God knows what else. Yet, they served Pizza Hut and McDonalds everyday at my high school for lunch, with no health and fitness type education in any of K-12, or ANY trace of mandatory physical education after elementary school. But don't worry, they'll pump you full of meds by the time you hit 30.
Don't think I've hopped back onto my soapbox. Modern medicine is responsible for some incredible things. It saved my dad's life when he got cancer. It gave us an extra 5 years with my grandpa. It brought my niece into the world safely. What I am discussing is the human mentality of not worrying about something unless it poses an imminent threat.
If eating a big mac would immediately put you into cardiac arrest, would you eat it? If having a beer would cause your kidneys to fail instantly, would you still take a sip? If taking one Vicoden pill would make you look like my photograph, would you still oppose legalizing marijuana? Why do we wait until the last minute to remedy things?
As someone very dear to me would say, make smart choices and good memories. Try being preventative, rather than corrective. When you overdose on bad decisions, life will just hang you from the ceiling and make it look like an accident.
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